How are you doing with all this?

How are you doing with all of this?

I can’t help laughing at some of the memes.

The toilet paper ones are my favorites:

These are my favorite memes so far

But I’m also watching this whole thing unfold with a growing level of concern. This is definitely one of those situations where we have to surrender what we can’t control, and take action on the things we can.

Every morning I wake up with a fire hose of ideas both around how I can be of service, and (truthfully,) how I can also earn a living in the midst of it all.

Both my partner and I are self-employed, so it’s not like we’ll be collecting unemployment or picking up a government check when this is over. My sister and her husband are local farmers, so they are also affected. Another brother owns a chiropractic business, which is pretty hands on. No patients = no money. My mom’s primary income is a rental cabin.

I’m sure at least some of you are also in this boat, and even if you will continue to get a paycheck, you probably have other concerns … about staying healthy, figuring out how you’ll handle your kids all day when they’re home, parents or grandparents or other loved ones who are in the “danger zone” … the list goes on.

As I said, I wake up every morning with a fire hose of ideas … but only so much time in my day to execute on them.

I’m putting together new programs focused specifically around this pandemic  –one offering a fun challenge to virtually combat the very real effects of loneliness as we are required to socially isolate, and another offering practical tips to move through the very real effects of stress and anxiety. More details coming soon! (Both mini-courses will be in the $27 price range, which I hope will be affordable to most. If these sound like exactly what you need, but you can’t afford $27, shoot me an e-mail or give me a call and we can work something out.)

One thing I can offer right now, is a link to piles of guided meditations designed to help calm your nervous system. These are my Transformation Tuesday recordings from prior years. I think you can access these even if you don’t use Facebook, but if not, I’ll try to put a few of them on my youtube channel soon. (I have limited bandwidth from my home office, so each takes a long time.)

I can also offer 1:1 coaching at  sliding-scale “Pay What You Will” pricing for those who may be experiencing anxiety or other pandemic related unwanted emotions. (Sliding scale starts at $75 & runs through my “normal” price of $225 for a 45 – 60 minute session.) To schedule a session, click here to be taken to my booking calendar.

Here are three simple tools I always use to handle an upsurge in stress:

  • Get outside. If you live in close quarters in a city, try to get to a park or wildland. Take a walk. Look for bulbs and buds, listen to birdsong, watch the clouds. Anything that takes your mind off your troubles for a little while and allows you to experience the emotions of wonder, awe, peace, contentment.
  • Breathe. Count in for the count of four. Hold it. Then out for the count of four. Do this three times, then drop your awareness to your heart. Continue to breathe. In. Hold. Out. Try to breathe a little gratitude or compassion or awe into your heart. (All my Transformation Tuesday meditations guide you through this process.)
  • Dance. Put on your favorite dancing music, and dance in your living room. (Btw, did you see this one of Kermit? I joked with my friend that I do this even without the wine. Shhh. I wasn’t really joking. (If you don’t have Facebook and can’t watch this, imagine Kermit the Frog dancing to Fleetwood Mac’s song “Dreams” and the caption says “when you’re on day 2 of your quarantine, but your 8th bottle of wine.)

I’ll be back in a few days with more love and details on the two programs.

Stay safe out there!

Much love,

Kristin

Look for the Silver Linings

It’s pretty nuts out there, isn’t it? I’m with you. Shaking my head. They are calling this the worst public health crisis of a century.

[And WHY are people hoarding toilet paper? I can see grabbing one of those Costco bundles, but …?]

Right now, as far as I know, all my loved ones are safe. But I know that’s not true of everyone, and quite a few people I know are immune challenged.

I’m not really sure HOW to respond … with prudence, certainly. And Grace. Kindness and Love, obviously.

The important thing is that we all work together to flatten the curve, though, so we don’t overwhelm our health system.

Cattening the Curve, Infographic credit Anne Marie Darling via Twitter

However, this pandemic also provides a few opportunities for us.

One of the potential benefits is an opening of precious time, a chance to take a collective pause. An opportunity to slow down, listen to the birds, take naps, and take care of a few things on your to-do list without the stress of all-the-things that have to be done in any given day..

What have YOU been saying you don’t have time for, for far too long?

Why not use this time to …

☑️Go for long walks in nature.
☑️ Read.
☑️ Draw.
☑️ Paint.
☑️ Write letters.
☑️ Sing.
☑️ Dance in your kitchen.
☑️ Rest.
☑️ Renew.
☑️ Take long hot baths.
☑️ Do sit-ups.
☑️ Organize.
☑️ Declutter.
☑️ Video chat with old friends.
☑️ Clean out the your closet.
☑️ Meditate.
☑️ Pet your dog.
☑️ Fist bump the children in your life. … or hug them if they’re your own.
☑️ Give your lover a massage.
☑️ Binge watch stand-up comedy.
☑️ Have leisurely dinners.
☑️ Nourish your body.
☑️ Drink wine.
☑️ Journal.
☑️ Reflect.
☑️ Learn something new.

☑️ Clear out your self judgments & release the old beliefs that aren’t serving you.😊

The world will probably be different after this.

That change can start with you.

Need help destressing?

This is the universe giving you time to step into the saying “be the change you wish to see” so you re-emerge renewed, refreshed, clear and ready to participate more fully in a better, simpler, more joyful world.

Use this precious time to connect to the truth of your deepest desires, make new discoveries, and grow into “being” the amazing women you are.

I’m also loving the poetry that is arising, and the beauty that is being shared.

Have you seen the Italians singing from their balconies?

Or this poem by Father Richard Hendrick?

Lockdown
Yes there is fear.
Yes there is isolation.
Yes there is panic buying.
Yes there is sickness.
Yes there is even death.
But,
They say that in Wuhan after so many years of noise
You can hear the birds again.
They say that after just a few weeks of quiet
The sky is no longer thick with fumes
But blue and grey and clear.
They say that in the streets of Assisi
People are singing to each other
across the empty squares,
keeping their windows open
so that those who are alone
may hear the sounds of family around them.
They say that a hotel in the West of Ireland
Is offering free meals and delivery to the housebound.
Today a young woman I know
is busy spreading fliers with her number
through the neighbourhood
So that the elders may have someone to call on.
Today Churches, Synagogues, Mosques and Temples
are preparing to welcome
and shelter the homeless, the sick, the weary
All over the world people are slowing down and reflecting
All over the world people are looking at their neighbours in a new way
All over the world people are waking up to a new reality
To how big we really are.
To how little control we really have.
To what really matters.
To Love.
So we pray and we remember that
Yes there is fear.
But there does not have to be hate.
Yes there is isolation.
But there does not have to be loneliness.
Yes there is panic buying.
But there does not have to be meanness.
Yes there is sickness.
But there does not have to be disease of the soul
Yes there is even death.
But there can always be a rebirth of love.
Wake to the choices you make as to how to live now.
Today, breathe.
Listen, behind the factory noises of your panic
The birds are singing again
The sky is clearing,
Spring is coming,
And we are always encompassed by Love.
Open the windows of your soul
And though you may not be able
to touch across the empty square,
Sing.
– Fr. Richard Hendrick, OFMMarch 13th 2020

Where else have you seen beauty arising out of this time?

Drop me a line …

Much love,

Kristin

International Women’s Day

I just read an email from Michelle Obama, celebrating International Women’s Day. It starts out:  “When I was growing up, my parents made it very clear: I could do anything my brother could do, from playing sports to going to college. That was one of the greatest gifts my family gave to me—a belief that, as a girl, my voice and my talents mattered.”

I have to say, that wasn’t my experience when I was growing up. My parents loved me, no doubt about that. But my sister and I were the ones who educated THEM about what girls could do. They “matured nicely” (as my dad would’ve said) as we proved to them over and over that women could do things that weren’t as … accepted … when they were growing up. And my nieces are reaping the rewards today.

For example, we played sports, but my coach had to talk my parents into allowing me to play basketball as a freshman, because when I begged as a 7th grader –and again as an 8th grader– they thought it was “too rough a sport for their little girl.” (Our team made it to state when I was a sophomore, and I was scoring 30 points / game by the time I was a senior.)

We were expected to go to college, but the “reason” was so that we could meet an eligible man to marry. (Neither my sister nor I met our partners in college.)

As a woman who was raised Catholic, I was taught in subtle ways over and over that my voice and my talents weren’t as important as those of men.

[“But what about honoring Mary!” (That’s my mom’s voice in my head. –I love you mom … she’s a subscriber and a huge supporter of my work.) That’s one of the best parts about Catholicism over other Christian faiths in my opinion, but I’ll leave that whole topic for another day. Forget the president, my mom wanted to be Pope when she was little, and is a fiercely strong feminist role model in her own way, although she might not call herself that. She still water-skis at 80, for example. And the times we missed mass when I was a kid, she played the role of priest. When my niece, Lily, was in 7th grade and racing the 800 meter relay against a boy’s team, her voice was right with me yelling, “BEAT THAT BOY!” and almost crying in pride as Lily did.]

I’ve been thinking about this whole women empowerment thing particularly over the past week as I’ve been finalizing my self-judgment detox and writing about the inner scripts that hold us back from becoming the amazing women we are born to be.

Plus:

  • Elizabeth Warren dropped out of the presidential race, leaving us with two old white men to choose from. (No offense to Bernie and Joe, both are WAY better choices than the godawful mysogynist dude in the office today.) But wouldn’t it be nice to have a woman president? Wouldn’t it be nice to show our daughters / granddaughters / nieces that it can happen in our country in our lifetime?
  • I learned about the awful sticker some Canadian oil company created “as a joke” that depicted Greta Thunberg being forcibly raped. (!!)
  • read a statistic that said that 90% of the world still holds a sexist viewpoint (57% in the US!)
  • And read that the # of witches (mostly girl children) being burned in the world is on the rise.
  • And then there is the on-going devastation of the planet, Mother Earth
To Honor International Women’s Day, art by Kristin Halberg

Each of these topics bears more attention than I have time for this morning. And all of them bring me to tears.

As a woman dedicated to helping change the story of women and the planet, on this International Women’s Day my call to you is this:

I am extremely grateful to all the women who have come before us, and done some amazing things to pave the way. But WE need to be the change we wish to see, and we haven’t yet done enough.

We need YOU to step into your full potential and take a stand for women and the planet.

I believe we women are uniquely positioned to shape the world’s future through our influence on our family, our community, our workplace and beyond. For most of us, to do this to our full potential we need deep transformation in the areas of self-belief, relationships, wellness, and purpose.

I believe I was put here on Earth to hold space for the part of you that yearns to unite your desire to belong with your ache to be authentically you, and to help you define, own, express and be appreciated for the gifts you bring to the world. My goal is to help you find your OWN way back to the part of you that knows EXACTLY what to do, and to listen to that wise inner voice that I call your Wild & Wise Heart.

I’ve dedicated the past twenty years of my life to learning about deep transformation, and spent the past twelve guiding women on this journey to step into their potential.

What’s holding YOU back from becoming the influential woman you were born to be?

If it’s that inner script than runs your thoughts, it’s not too late to join my 30-Day Self-Judgment Detox Challenge.

It’s so important that we ditch these inner critical voices, so that we can step into the most capable empowered versions of ourselves.

So I decided to open up the Self-Judgment Detox challenge throughout the month of March.

I’ve got new cohorts starting every Sunday.

Join today!
$27 gets you in

“My friends, do not lose heart.  We were made for these times. … Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but in stretching out to mend the part of the world within our reach.  … Any small calm thing you do makes a difference, but the most calming and powerful action you can take is to stand up and show your soul.”

Clarissa Pinkola Estes

We need YOUR voice and YOUR heart and YOUR passion and YOUR most capable amazing self to STAND UP and SHOW YOUR SOUL.

XO

Much love,

Kristin

Why You Need to Challenge Your Self-Judgment Now

“If you want to clean a house, you have to see the dirt.”

Louise Hay

Have you ever noticed that it’s easier to see the dirt in other people’s houses (or establishments) than it is your own?

Photo of healthy foods with hearts invitation to join the Self Judgment Detox Challenge
Join the Self Judgment Detox Challenge Today!

In fact, when I’m super busy –like lately– I don’t even look around me much to notice the clutter, the dirt, and the dog hair. Well, I sorta do. But I can ignore it for awhile. Until I’m expecting company. Then I ask myself how in the world the house got INTO this shape to begin with and begin the mega cleaning process.

Our critical inner voice is a little like this … only we aren’t usually expecting company inside our heads. So it’s a little more like if what happened inside our head was the junk drawer … or that one closet that nobody EVER looks into. Our negative self talk is allowed to build up and build up and build up.

Around Valentine’s Day, I shared the story of my 4th grade crush, and its sad Valentine’s Day ending. Well, partially sad. Sherry, my best friend at the time, was amazing.

But have you ever heard of the negativity bias?

Essentially, it is a phenomenon whereby we humans are wired to not only NOTICE negative stimuli more frequently, but also to fixate on it. Fun, right?

What that means is we tend to:

  • Remember traumatic experiences more than good ones
  • Recall insults significantly more than praise
  • Think about negative things more frequently than positive ones (and let them run through our brains over and over and over again)
  • Respond more strongly to negative events than to equally positive ones

I have thousands of examples of how Sherry was a good friend to me. But that boy was only in our school for a year or two. Why do I even remember him?

What negativity bias ALSO means is that these seemingly uneventful events –like not getting a valentine’s day card from your boy crush– get stored away in our brains. But not just as “some little thing that happened in the 4th grade.” Instead, we make MEANING out of these events …. And the meaning we make of something as a nine year old is NOT the same meaning we might make as an adult. At least logically.

The meanings we make are going to be different depending on our own life experiences. But some possible meanings a nine year old could make of that event are:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m not lovable
  • I don’t matter
  • I’m not wanted
  • I’m worthless
  • I’m not important
  • And more … you get the idea.

Now I’m just using this experience as an example. To be honest, when I penned the piece, I wrote details into the story that I don’t actually remember. I DO remember feeling crappy though. And I’ve NEVER liked valentine’s day. More on that in a bit.

We ALL have stories like my 4th grade valentine’s day in our lives. Some of them seem like they could be trivial … as grown ups, we logically know that it’s not the end of the world to not get that valentine, or to be chosen last for the spelling bee or the sports team, or whatever. But as kids, we assign them meaning … AND THEN THAT MEANING INFLUENCES EVERY OTHER EVENT IN OUR LIVES.

What happens next is that the negativity bias can lead to the confirmation bias. This is “the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms or strengthens one’s prior personal beliefs or hypotheses.*” (*Wikipedia)

So let’s take this same example again. From that day forward, some small part of me expected to be hurt on valentine’s day again. So what did I do the following year? I bet I didn’t risk giving a boy a super special valentine again. And even if I did, I probably put some defense mechanisms on so that I wouldn’t be AS hurt or disappointed. Do you see how this works?

One question I often get asked when I’m presenting at our local college is: “why do I have these random weird phobias … like public speaking for example.” My answer: it’s probably not random and weird at all. If you trace it back, you can probably find the source from your childhood. (And don’t even get me started about the fears we inherit!)

Over time, the meanings we made of something become beliefs. And then we start living our lives as if these beliefs were true. And then we get them confirmed, because we show up in a certain way, and etc. AND, more and more research shows that your BODY holds onto this stuff, not just your mind (which is why it’s so hard to get rid of these things.)

No wonder we need to go in and detox our self-judgments every once in awhile!!

Are you in?

This Four-Step Self-Judgment Detox challenge will:

  • Help you identify the most common messages you receive from your critical voice
  • Teach you four + practices to honor and release old wounds from your emotions, mind and body
  • Provide guided meditations and creative exercises to heal old stories
  • Guide you in a practice of surrender and self forgiveness
  • Teach the six principles of self-compassion
  • Reconnect you with your Spirit Self (or what I call your Wild and Wise Heart)

Included:

  • Bi-weekly emails for four weeks, (approximate value, $50 / week)
  • Made for you matrixes and journal prompts to help you track your journey and ask yourself deep reflective questions; (value, $97)
  • Inspiration, Knowledge and Motivational check-ins; (value, $900)
  • Optional Bonus: Individual answers and encouragement from me via email or text; value $75 / week)
  • Deep life transformation and tools you can use forever, priceless

All this can be yours for $27, for a limited time.

Join Now!

Or visit my site at The Dream Hatchery.

Could Self Judgment Be Holding You Back from Success?

Research says yes.

I bet when you think of all the things that might be holding you back from attaining the life you desire –career, relationship, love, friendships, support, health, creativity, finances, etc.– you don’t automatically put self judgment at the top of your list.

Critical Reflections by Kristin Halberg

In fact, many high achieving people, perfectionists included, think that negative self talk is beneficial.

But the research shows a different story:

“The #1 barrier [to a willingness to learn how to release self judgment and learn] self-compassion is fear of being complacent and losing your edge. And all the research shows that’s not true. It’s just the opposite,” 

Dr. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin

In fact, according to Dr. Neff, there are five myths about self-compassion that keep us stuck in the negative mindset loop.

  1. Self-compassion is a form of self pity. ➡️ The research shows that compassion and pity are actually near enemies. Pity is a form of separation, while compassion allows us to see ourselves and all of humanity as imperfect evolving beings.
  2. Self-compassion is a sign of weakness. ➡️ The research shows that self-compassion leads to higher levels of resilience, inner strength, and achievement.
  3. Self-compassion will lead to self-indulgence. ➡️ The research shows that replacing self-judgment with self-compassion is actually linked to healthier behaviors.
  4. Self-compassion is selfish. ➡️ Research shows that self-compassionate people have more concern for and are more caring and supportive and forgiving … and that this is reciprocated in their relationships.
  5. Self-compassion will undermine my motivation ➡️ The research shows that self-compassion is actually linked to higher motivation. Our personal standards remain high but we have less fear of failure and more grit and determination to succeed.

Let’s look at another researcher:

“Self-criticism can take a toll on our minds and bodies. It can lead to ruminative thoughts that interfere with our productivity, and it can impact our bodies by stimulating inflammatory mechanisms that lead to chronic illness and accelerate aging.” 

–Dr. Richard Davidson, founder and director of the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin-Madison

Does that sound like something you want in your life?

Choose to interrupt those negative patterns and replace them with a new soundtrack.

Join me in the month of March for a 30-Day Self Judgment Detox Challenge.

$27 will get you in … but only for a limited time.

This challenge will guide you through:

  • A four step detox process
  • Four + practices to honor and release old wounds
  • Meditations and creative practices for healing old stories
  • Self forgiveness
  • The principles of self-compassion

You will get:

  • Bi-weekly emails with specific instruction to help you detox from your self-judgment loop
  • Made for you matrixes and journal prompts to help you track your journey
  • Encouragement and inspiration
  • Optional Bonus: Personal check-ins from me via email or text

Join Now!

Learn more.

Are You Unknowingly Contributing to the Negativity in the World?

How often do you judge yourself in any given day?

Cat Judgment is the Best
Everything I learned about judging
I learned from my cat!

If you’re anything like me, it’s more often than you realize.

Last Lent, I chose to give up judgment. Going in, I didn’t think I was a very judgmental person. But I figured it was a good thing to do anyway. “Even a little judgment goes a long way, and the world is a better place without it,” I said to myself smugly, (unaware that I was already judging those people I know who are always judging others.) 

The challenge induced me to pay attention to all the different ways I judged. I was blown away by how often I really did judge other people, especially loved ones, and even more amazed by how often I judged myself!

Of course, judging in its principle form is neutral. You’ve just formed an opinion of something. “Judgment is a good thing, really,” I can hear you saying to yourself. “Without good judgment, people make poor decisions.” 👉 (I’m imagining a finger wagging lecture here.)

But (without going into the difference between judgment and discernment,) many times our opinions are toxic and mean, and they contribute to the toxicity of the world (even if we don’t mean for them to.)

We get a fix of self righteousness for judging others. And for a minute, it makes us feel better than them.

But what about what it’s doing to us after that first minute? What’s causing us to feel those feelings that come before we judge another anyway? Perhaps we feel hurt, or betrayed, insecure, disappointed, or vulnerable. After all, we’ve probably been judging ourselves all day.

According to research, all that negative self talk is the root of many of our other struggles.

“Self judgment leads to feelings of shame and unworthiness, and is the basis of many problems we experience with our relationships, careers, and creative endeavors.” –Clinical psychiatrist, Dr. Tara Brach

Hmmm. Self judgment could be the root cause of those areas where I’m still feeling stuck?

Here are a few questions to ask yourself 

  • Have you done tons of personal growth work, yet still feel like you’re hitting a brick wall in an area (or two?)
  • Are you tired of being single, but have trouble finding the trust you require in a relationship?
  • Or are you married but your relationship isn’t giving you the strength and joy you need?
  • Do you have an idea for the next phase of your life but feel afraid of letting go of the known to make that next leap into the unknown?
  • Maybe you’ve been thinking about trying something new FOR FOREVER, but stay frozen in indecision, unable to be sure it is right for you.
  • Do you want to feel supported, but struggle to ask for and accept help?
  • Do you have good solid friendships and a full life, but still feel alone?

Makes you think, doesn’t it?

See, here’s the thing: all these negative thoughts running through your mind turn into beliefs when they’re repeated often enough. And beliefs are the hidden scripts that run our lives.

“Your beliefs are THE master commanders of your behavior and your results. Beliefs control our bodies and how we respond to crises, criticisms and opportunities. They tell us what to notice, what to focus on, what it means, and what to do about it. “ –Marie Forleo, entrepreneur, writer, philanthropist

And on top of that, beliefs beget behavior.

Which is a fancy alliterative way of saying that the script running through your mind all day long can keep you stuck …

OR you can choose to interrupt those negative patterns and replace them with a new soundtrack.

Transform Self Judgment ~ Transform Your Life ~ Transform the World
I’m the Self Judgment Fairy Godspider.
Interrupt your negative patterns
and replace them with a new soundtrack.

I found the detox process so valuable, I put together a 30-Day Challenge so I could offer it to you this year.

Join me in the month of March for a 30-Day Self Judgment Detox Challenge.

Get in for $27, for a limited time.

This challenge will guide you through:

  • A six step detox process
  • Four + practices to honor and release old wounds
  • Meditations and creative practices for healing old stories
  • Self forgiveness
  • The principles of self-compassion

You will get:

  • Bi-weekly emails with specific instruction
  • Made for you matrixes and journal prompts to help you track your journey
  • Encouragement and inspiration
  • Optional Bonus: Personal check-ins from me via email or text

Join me.

I’d love to hear from you … when are you at your most self-judgmental? What have you noticed about how you feel inside just before you snap a judgment about someone else? What practice(s) have you found most valuable to curb your natural judgmental tendencies? Do you –like I did– think of yourself as a mostly non-judgmental person?

Today is the International Day of Self Love

It’s Valentines week … how are you feeling?

Personally, I’ve always had a love / hate relationship with Valentine’s Day … here’s where it started:

When I was in the 4th grade, I had a huge crush on this new dark haired boy in my class named Daniel.

I’d like to tell you that it was because he was kind, or brilliant, or the best speller in the class. But honestly, it was just because he was new, and I thought he was cute. And maybe because he was shy, and that seemed sweet.

I kept my feelings hidden to anyone but myself and my best friend Sherry –who liked him too– for months. We both spent many a daydream sitting by him in class, hanging out with him at recess, and other acts of 4th grade love.

Finally, on Valentine’s Day, we decided to reveal our secret crushes.

I scrutinized my entire box of Valentine’s cards to find the perfect phrase — one that said “I really like you a LOT” but that could also pass for just an average valentine’s card in case I needed to save face.

Valentines cards circa 1970's
1970’s Valentine Card examples

Probably something like one of these:

Next, I spent days agonizing over whether or not to sign my name or to be anonymous.

In a big burst of courage, Sherry decided she was going to sign her name to her card, so I was encouraged to risk it too. And then just to be certain he knew it was a special card for a special person, I also added a handful of cut out hearts inside the envelope.

Crescent School 4th Grade www.thedreamhatchery.com
4th Grade Class Photo. I’m the one in the far back right side. Sherry is on the bottom, far right. Daniel is right next to her.

Man. I still remember the breathless anticipation of waiting for acknowledgement… in vain … inspecting each of the valentines I received … breathlessly anticipating one with his signature. … Nothing!

And then the masterfully orchestrated denial that fell into place …. First, I convinced myself he hadn’t given valentines to anyone.

And then, once I knew I’d been dissed after Sherry reluctantly showed me her card (with such grace and genuine sadness for me, and no gloating at all)  she suggested that his card to me must have fallen out and been accidentally thrown away by the janitor.

Because that’s the kind of friend she was.

My second major Valentine’s Day memory is from years later, when I was a junior in high school. I was the publicity manager of our student council, and that year we decided to sell carnations as a fund raiser.

By lunch time, it felt like everyone in the school had received a carnation –except me!

I was pretty forlorn and feeling sorry for myself, and my best friend Sherry had transferred to another school, so there was no one there to convince me my carnation had been dropped and accidentally thrown away by the janitor.

Just when I was ready to throw myself off the second floor balcony, the delivery person handed me a pink carnation –for friendship– from one of my guy friends.

I will never forget that small kindness.

Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Let’s pause for a moment to consider …

It’s wonderful to have amazing friends who will either help you concoct the perfect face saving excuse when you didn’t get that valentine from the boy you liked, or that interview … or that second date, or whatever.

Or one who will supply you with exactly the encouragement you need at exactly the right time … whether that comes in the form of a pink carnation or a beautifully selected card, or simply kind words on a rough day.

I wish those kinds of friendships for you. Always.

But …

Wouldn’t it also be amazing if you could always be that kind of friend … to YOURSELF?

Here’s a little quiz for you:

https://www.thedreamhatchery.com/self-judgment-detox.html
What do you say to yourself when you look in the mirror?
  1. Do you often call yourself names (like dummy or stupid or ugly or fat)?
  2. How often do you treat yourself with sarcasm?
  3. Do you criticize yourself frequently?
  4. Do you always say kind things to yourself when you look in the mirror?
  5. Do you isolate yourself when you’re feeling most down?
  6. When you’re having a bad day, do you obsess or fixate on everything that’s going wrong?
  7. How do you treat yourself when you’re going through pain?
  8. When you’re feeling inadequate about something, do you compare yourself to everyone else who seems to be better at it than you are?
  9. How do you treat the parts of yourself that you don’t like?
  10. When something painful happens, do you find yourself thinking about it over and over?

Based on your answers above, if YOU were your own best friend, would you even hang out with yourself?

For most women, the answer is no. And if someone was treating OUR best friend the way we treat ourselves, we’d tell them to end that friendship immediately. Right?

Even if not all of your answers to the questions were terrible, I bet there is still room for improvement, am I right?

So what can you do to practice being a better friend to yourself?

Join me in March for a 30-Day Self Judgment Detox.

This $27 mini-course will teach you:

https://www.thedreamhatchery.com/self-judgment-detox.html
Join the Self Judgment Detox Challenge and be a better friend to yourself.
  • A four step process to detox from self-judgment
  • Four + practices to honor and release old wounds
  • Meditations and creative practices for emancipating old stories
  • How to finally forgive yourself
  • Lessons in becoming a best friend to yourself

You will get:

  • Bi-weekly emails with specific instruction over 30 days
  • Made for you matrixes to help you track your journey
  • Encouragement and inspiration along the way

Interested? Know someone else who might be?

Sign up now by clicking this link.

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” –Brene’ Brown

I Quit

Did that grab your attention?

I read a book this week (written about five years ago) that said that we have a NINE SECOND attention span before we succumb to distraction. I bet it’s down to five now.

😂

(Ha ha. Are you still here? 

Fairy Godspider helps you change your story

Then, I read an article that pointed out that WE (you and me, all of us) have the power to create change, especially in our culture in our interactions with each other, with friends and family members, with power and authority, online and professionally, in our businesses and our platforms. We can interrupt the cultural norms we don’t consent to, and we can create new ones. This wasn’t new to me, as it’s been an evolving part of my manifesto for years, but I liked the way the article was worded.)

Have you ever thought of yourself as a culture shaper?

When I was first learning the HeartMath tools (ask me more) I took a year long program called Heart Mastery, which taught me how to apply the basic tools to all the aspects of my life in order to live a more Heart Centered life. In one of those classes, we talked about the power –and the value of– our ATTENTION.

I’m writing this just days before the Super Bowl, so it’s very relevant. Guess how much it costs to run a 30-second ad? I wish I could make you guess a couple times before I just tell you, but:  $5.6 million for a 30-second slot!! Crazy, isn’t it? That’s how much your attention is worth.

50 years of superbowl ad costs

Think of that the next time you’re deciding what to do with it.

It’s true that we place more value on the things we pay for … and WE certainly don’t value our own attention that much, do we? That’s why it’s so easy to get distracted from the Things We Really Want To Do.

So this year, I quit a few things:

  • I quit binging shows on Netflix … and prioritized my “to-do” list instead.
  • I quit my negative self – talk. (Or at least cut it waaaaay back … ) My new mantra is “everything is figuroutable” –thanks Marie*.)
  • I quit isolating myself … and prioritized my friendships and connections instead.
  • I quit ignoring my inner wisdom and depreciating my woo* … and had some major break throughs just this week.

It’s your turn:

What things are you ready to quit this year? What will you do with your time and attention instead? Let me know!

Manifesting 101

Bridesmaid on Wheels
Bridesmaid on Wheels

In the late ’90’s, I called myself the Bridesmaid on Wheels. I kid you not, between the years of 1998 and 2000 ALL my friends got married. And I was invited to be a bridesmaid in SO MANY weddings!! Which was wonderful.

But in the year 2000, when my second roommate in two years moved out, I decided that I was going to buy a house. By myself. For myself.

The spiritual tools I used to help me manifest my dream house came from Sonia Choquette, my first self-selected spiritual teacher. I followed her guidelines through the book Your Heart’s Desire: Instructions for Creating the Life You Really Want.

The three main tools? Desire, Imagination, and Action.

My desire was very clear. I wanted a log cabin, on acreage, with mountain views, on water, in my price range. (Which was around $120,000 at that time.) I applied the tools of imagination and action and found and fell in love with a super cute, but very run down log cabin on the Raging River (near the town of Preston, WA) that was at the end of a dead end road about a mile from a friend. It backed up against DNR land and was PERFECT. Except that the banks wouldn’t give me a loan for it because it had to be a non-conventional loan and I didn’t qualify. Oh man. I was so disappointed. But I didn’t give up.

More action, more looking at houses. So many well meaning people told me I should give up on my dream –for now– and buy a house in Kent, because the prices were lower. But then … (did you know miracles are simply a shift in perspective?) I got a bigger than usual raise, at the same time that ANOTHER super cute, less run down cabin on the South Fork of the Snoqualmie River towards the end of a dead end road with views of the mountains dropped its price significantly. I knew it was perfect before I even saw the inside –cathedral ceilings, amazing views– and on Memorial Day weekend 2000, I moved in.

Desire, Imagination, [Persistance], Action. And a great deal of love and appreciation for Sonia.

I’ve since followed that formula to manifest more amazing miracles in my life.

But a couple years ago, when I was struggling to make sense of some things, I decided to schedule a one on one appointment with Sonia. I felt stuck in my business and my relationship and wanted some insight to help me shake loose. Thirty minutes later my hope was rekindled and I had an action plan to move forward.

How about you? What are your desires? Do you feel like your imagination is rusty? Are you looking for more support? I have room for two new one on one clients this month.

Single sessions are $125 through February 1st, or you can purchase a package of four sessions for $475.

Shoot me an email to get on my calendar.

OR …

if you’d like to jump start your imagination, listen to my Sensory Meditation

Get my Sensory Meditation here

Did you miss the invite to join the 20 Days of Kindness to kick off the Roaring Twenties? (You’ll get one email with a kindness prompt every day for twenty days.)

Sometimes just following a prescription for action that makes you feel GOOD can shake loose the blahs and kick off fresh energy. You can subscribe here:

Much love,

Kristin

Announcing Wild Church of the Olympics

I have some big and scary news to share. (Scary in part because I get too hung up on what other people might think of me WAY too often, but also because it’s going to force me to stretch outside my comfort zone in a big big way.)

Are you ready for this? Drum roll please.

I am now an ordained minister!! 😲 (Astonished face emoji, in case that didn’t come through as that on your screen.)

Kristin Halberg credentials
My credentials

This is not a decision I stepped into lightly. 

For those of you who do not yet know me well, I consider myself to be a spiritual seeker. If I had to pinpoint when this began for me, I’d say that it was the Easter after I turned 12. My mom gave me a book called Mister God This is Anna, by Fynn. I don’t think her intention was to turn me into a spiritual seeker, as she is what I call “very Catholic,” and has spent many hours of prayer over the years in an attempt to coax me back inside the umbrella of Catholicism.

But I fell in love with Anna and her musings at the age of 12, and quite honestly, I can say that her philosophy shaped mine at least as much if not more than any other books on philosophy and religion that I’ve ever read. (And I’ve read a LOT!) (For a synopsis of the book, see the insert below.)

The book, Mister God this is Anna,  describes the adventures of Anna, a mischievous yet wise four-year-old whom Fynn finds as a runaway. Sixteen-year-old Fynn takes Anna home to his mother who takes her in, though Fynn becomes Anna’s main caretaker and closest friend. Fynn recounts his time spent with Anna, and gives a very personal account of her outpourings on life, mathematics, science and her mentor, Mister God. At five years Anna knew absolutely the purpose of being, knew the meaning of love and was a personal friend and helper of Mister God. At six Anna was a theologian, mathematician, philosopher, poet and gardener. If you asked her a question you would always get an answer – in due course. On some occasions the answer would be delayed for weeks or months; but eventually, in her own good time, the answer would come: direct, simple and much to the point. *

*Quote from Wikipedia

I was going to add that unfortunately the book is out of print, because I tried finding it to give it to a friend years ago. But … I just did research and found out that it was re-released in the year 2000, –guess it was over 20 years ago that I last looked– so it’s possible to order a copy. AND there are sequels! Which I just ordered.

What I loved most … no, I can’t really say that because I loved everything. Let me try again … one belief that Anna and I share is that Mister God doesn’t care about religion. Mister God cares about relationship. And that’s what drew me to the Universal Life Church, specifically. It welcomes people of all cultures, creeds, and belief systems.

This Fall wasn’t the first time I considered ministry as a career. My spirituality has continued to deepen and spread into my work for the past several years. In fact, I considered applying for a ministry position at a local unity church when they were hiring a few years ago, but didn’t feel “qualified” because my beliefs don’t generally align with a traditional church.

Hoh Rain Forest in the snow
Hoh Rain Forest in the snow

However, this summer I read an article in Spirituality & Health magazine, called Is it Your Time to Add to the Wild Church Network? The author starts the article by saying, “I am one of those people, who, for most of 50 years, had said, “I don’t go to church; my church is the woods, the mountains, the rivers.” [Um. Yes. Me too!]

But then one day, he was out walking on his wild property and was called to create a church for people like him … “people who encounter God in the woods yet also long for human community with its ancient ritual and wisdom.” 

I read further. 

What Makes a Church a Wild Church?

  • Meeting Outside.
  • Nature as Co-Congregant

What Makes a Wild Church a Church?

  • Meets in community.
  • Has a grounding Liturgy. But not the kind that recruits members into a dogma, but rather to invite people into a deeper relationship with an untamed God, the land, and creatures that share their home, and into a deeper relationship with their own wild, untamed soul.

Hmmm. I said. I wonder if we have one of those here? But I checked, and we don’t. Inviting people into a deeper relationship with an untamed God, the land, the creatures, and their own wild untamed soul is what I do anyway on my pilgrimages, my forest bathing expeditions, and in my 1:1 coaching.

Mouth of the Elwha River
Mouth of the Elwha River

And even though I am terrified at the thought of being labeled “a minister,” I am beyond excited at the thought of bringing people outside to “church” with nature.

I decided to start small, with one church session / month beginning in February. Service locations may vary, but I want to start at the Mouth of the Elwha, which is a newly wild river.

Sign up to get notifications and updates. And stay tuned for more from me on what it means to me to be the minister of a Wild Church.