Let the Countdown Begin!

What a crazy year, right? Have you ever watched or read Lemony Snicket’s children’s series A Series of Unfortunate Events?

It felt a little like I was living that title for most of this year. It makes me aware of my privilege to be able to say this, but I simply had to tune out all the things going on OUT THERE (waves hand dramatically) in order to have the energy to handle the things going on in my own life. Here’s a rough timeline:

  • mid-March: Covid and all its weirdness and my own attempts to cope with it by trying too hard to take care of the rest of you. 🥴 (Yes, I DO that!!)
  • mid-April: Micky impaled himself with an 8″ x 3/4″ stick and had to be rushed to the vet. Of course we couldn’t go in because … covid.
  • early May: got a call from the Newport, OR port saying that Justin’s 44′ fishing boat was being lived in by several drug addicts. We went down for two weeks to suss it up and begin the cleaning and repair process. LOTS of damage. 😠
  • May 29th: Home again. Justin and I were rear ended leaving the car parts store. My beloved (and old) Subaru with over 300,000 miles on it was totaled. Fortunately, we only suffered from whiplash –or so we thought.
  • June 11th: mom went into the hospital the first time with acute idiopathic pancreatitis (I became primary caretaker.) She came home on the 17th.
  • June 21st: mom back into local hospital with a pseudocyst (related to the pancreatitis.) Then transported to Swedish hospital. She was released on the 3rd of July
  • July 4th: mom almost died (my brother Sean saved her life with CPR) and was airlifted back to Swedish where she spent several weeks enjoying the fantastic care from Swedish staff in what she called her “high rise condo” overlooking Seattle’s waterfront. I got to be home for a week during this time when she was stable and being well cared for, and then went back for the second week. She was released July 23rd, a day before my birthday. Happy birthday to me! 🥰
  • July 29th: A wildfire broke out a mile from mom’s house on Lake Crescent. My brother Greg and I spent several days clearing debris around both houses, and setting up the sprinkler system. We also enlisted other family members to help us get mom’s most treasured possessions out of the house. Fortunately, the amazing fire crew (airplane, helicopter and ground) had the fire 98% contained by August 10th. It only burned 85 acres and no structures were damaged.

And that only takes us into August!! 


I’d like to say the rest of the year was calmer … it FELT calmer, mostly because mom stayed out of the hospital except for check-ups and bi-weekly blood draws.

But between driving back and forth to Newport, OR to continue helping Justin repair his boat, being the primary errand runner and grocery shopper for mom, managing our rental cabin (with GREAT help cleaning between guests from three of my nieces), and providing meals, love and adventures once / week to my youngest brother’s five kiddos … (he was able to teach remotely, so he came up to visit for what was going to be two weeks, but ended up being a few months) I stayed pretty busy.

Of course, there was also a lot of catch up to do in my own backyard: my garden was a MESS of weeds after a summer of neglect and of course the dogs and Justin had been neglected as well.

How did I manage all this and not lose my mind (or my cool)?

Well, like my friend Teena –who became the mother of a quadriplegic son when he got in a bike accident in his 20’s– always says, “you do what you do.”

Right? Although not everyone does what they do with grace.

So in addition:

A) like I mentioned in the beginning, I simply had to tune out everything else going on in the world.

B) I ALWAYS felt supported. Whether it was mom’s friends sending me money for food or hotels, my nieces cleaning the cabin between guests, Justin postponing boat projects to care for the dogs, my family and friends sending me supportive texts, I felt the love. SO MUCH!!

C) I adopted the mantra “one role at a time.” That is, when I was with Justin, I tried to fully be with Justin. When I was in Seattle supporting mom, and later running her errands, that was my focus. When I was adventuring with and caring for my nieces and nephews, my attention was there. And I included time to take care of my self. Of course I didn’t do any of it perfectly, and sometimes guilt that I still wasn’t doing enough creeped in, but staying focused on one role at a time helped me stay present with what was right in front of me.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that, I started getting treatment for my whiplash from the car accident. My right shoulder was giving me a lot of trouble. I thought maybe it was frozen shoulder coming on because my doctor told me once you’ve had it in one shoulder it can come back in the other. I tried chiropractic care from my brother first, and then massage care from my amazing sister-in-law.

But after a few massage sessions, my shoulder still hurt, so we decided I should get an MRI to see whether the muscle tightness was causing the pain or something else was causing the muscle tightness.

I have a full thickness, full width tear of the distal supraspinatus tendon, a shallow partial thickness articular sided tear of the anterior infraspinatus tendon and a partial tear of the intra-articular long head biceps tendon!

Guess what? I have a full thickness, full width tear of the distal supraspinatus tendon AND a shallow partial thickness articular sided tear of the anterior infraspinatus tendon AND a partial tear of the intra-articular long head biceps tendon. Finding all that out sure made me feel like less of a wimp! But it’s also funny how somatic pain can be. Once I realized I had something legit to complain about, I also noticed the pain more.

Anyway. Fast forward to tomorrow: rotator cuff surgery for me at 6 am.
Then a L O N G (apparently) recovery process. A sling for six weeks, then I can start doing a tiny bit more. I’ve been told the full recovery can take one to two years. I’ve also been told that the pain is intense. Yikes! 😲

Fortunately, I had over 30-days notice so in true Kristin fashion I made a huge “to-do-before-surgery” list which included stocking the pantry / freezer / refrigerator with healthy foods, putting my garden to bed for the winter, a deep fall cleaning of the house, plus more inside and outside chores. Plus all the things I could think of that require two good arms and that would drive me crazy if they didn’t get done.

I had to put a few of the outside chores off until spring, and the inside chores have a way of multiplying. You know how that goes. But I’m ready. As ready as one can be.

Ironically, the topic for my writing group yesterday morning was vulnerability. I bet you can guess that I have some challenges with that.

I smiled and rolled my eyes when I heard the instructor give us the timed writing assignment. The Divine always knows just what to put in front of me to make me face things I’m avoiding. So I took a deep breath and asked myself the question “what are the times when I’ve felt most vulnerable?”

The Summit of Mt. Rainier with my grad school buddies in 2008. That’s me holding the sign in the middle.

About three or four stories from my mountain climbing days popped into my head. Times I was absolutely terrified to go forward, but there was also no going back. There was my first climb (Mt. Adams) when I’d just crossed my first crevasse and then came to a shelf of shale I had to scramble over in my plastic boots. There were the last bits of the Mt. Olympus climb when I had to climb across a rocky face and then scramble up a rocky cliff (roped up and billeted of course) with a 1000′ drop beneath me. And there was the responsibility of being a leader on my second Mt. Baker climb when the bridge across the crevasse started to collapse under our two primary leaders and as the third most experienced climber I had to find us a new safe bridge across the crevasse! And finally, there was my second Mt. Rainier climb where once again I found myself the third most experienced climber. I was given the job of safety commander, but every suggestion was undermined by our team leader. There were SO MANY unsafe decisions made that trip. I was a wreck afterwards and I haven’t climbed since.

But as I wrote about those situations, I realized it wasn’t the fear of doing the physical thing that was so debilitating for me, it was the fear of not being emotionally supported. It was the need to keep it all together while not being certain that was possible. [And then, perhaps, being hard on myself for losing it rather than giving myself the emotional support I need.] The truth is, I’m great in a crisis. I go into “what needs to be done and what do I need to do.” And I appear calm on the outside. But inside, especially afterwards, I can physically shake for hours.

Funny. In January, when I set my intentions for the year –before all this craziness that has been 2020 were fully in motion– one of the three words I chose to focus on for the year was “welcoming.”

Part of the way I defined that word –in reference to me– was to welcome what Francis Weller calls the “unclaimed” parts of myself. The discomfort that comes from feeling vulnerable and messy and out of control. The parts that I rarely let myself see, let alone anyone else.

As I wrote all that and continued to ponder it later, I realized I am most afraid of this surgery because I’m afraid I might not be able to hide my vulnerable, messy, emotionally out of control side of me while I’m in recovery. And I’m afraid if I can’t, there will be no emotional support.

Logically of course, I know that’s ridiculous.

But you can’t ridicule your fear and expect it to go away. You must befriend it.

So that’s my challenge for the end of this year: to recover from surgery, learn to use my left hand, and to befriend my fear of vulnerability and being emotionally out of control.

How about you? What’s on your agenda for wrapping up this crazy year? I’d love to hear from you.

PS) I have double reasons to be looking forward to January 20th. The inauguration of a blessedly new president –and female Vice– and my six weeks in the sling will be up so I can drive again. Hallelujah!

Five Self Care Tips from My Dogs

My dogs have been troopers throughout this pandemic. Even when we had to make an emergency trip to the Oregon coast to take care of Justin’s boat after some homeless drug addicts broke in and started living on it. So I thought I’d share a few self care tips for you on living life authentically. Mick and Blue wanted to chime in.

1) Go with the Flow.

Blue and Mick on the Beach

Mick: Mama and Papa take us everywhere with them. Well, almost. We spend hours in the truck without them when they are on the boatBut then Mama comes to take us for a walk and we get to sniff everything! There are so many exciting sounds and smells. This is my first time being so far away from home and staying in a motel.

What could you adjust to allow yourself to go with the flow like Mick?

2) Take Lots of naps.

Mick: I’m lying beside Mama on the couch as she stares at that silly machine on her lap. I might as well take a nap. Blue is nearby. We nap in the truck when we’re waiting too. It’s pretty comfortable back there although I got my head stuck in the window while we were driving yesterday. I really wanted a nap after that!!

Let go of any fear and try to relax into a nap.

3) Accept Your New Reality Without Complaint.

Kristin: When Mick impaled himself on a stick, I didn’t even know it happened until I got out the hose to wash off the mud. When he got home from the vet, he shrieked in pain the first day, but by the next morning he’d adjusted to his new reality of pain and wanted to get back to life as usual.

So he did.

(He got his stitches out Friday and was given a clean bill of health by the vet, btw. He’s back to normal except his fur needs to grow back where they shaved it.)

How can you shift your attitude to adjust to this new reality?

4) Ask for Reassurance When You Need It.

Blue: I like traveling with mama and papa. I’ve been on trips all up and down the west coast. The best part is when mama finds fun new places for us to explore. But sometimes I get scared when I hear loud noises. Like that sound at the drive-through bank. I like that they give us treats, but I want to climb into mama’s lap when that noise starts. And any loud noise that sounds like gun shuts … or fire crackers … or the lawn mower backfiring … or driving over a grate in the road …  My mama always pets my head and tells me its going to be okay. I know it is, but it scares me anyway and its nice to get snuggles from my mama.

Who can you reach out to for reassurance when you need it?

5) Make Your Exercise Fun.

Blue: I LOVE going for walks on the beach. It’s my absolute favorite. The sand feels good under my feet and I love to chase birds and sniff along the shoreline. I also love it when Mick chases me and we both chase birds and get splashed by the waves. Sometimes Mick gets a little annoying when he tries to slow me down and barks and bites at me. Sometimes I instigate it so he gets in trouble and I can run along by myself again and sniff things. B

Even when I have to stay connected to my mama with that long cord, it’s still fun to sniff along the ground to see what interesting things have been there before me. I get so excited I drag mama along sometimes even though I know it makes her mad.

What can you do to make your exercise time more fun?

I hope you enjoyed these five self-care tips from my dogs.

Did you try any of them? Which was your favorite? Let me know in the comments.

Join this Earth Day Adventure!

Happy 50th Earth Day! Tired of your own home / backyard?

The way we see the world shapes how we treat it
Join the Earth Day Challenge

I put together a 5-Day [virtual] Adventure to celebrate our beautiful Mother Earth.

I chose five live cams covering five continents, and added a TED Talk that will take you to both the Arctic and Antarctic. Then, if you choose to go deeper, I added a series of questions and practices that allow you to connect your inner landscape with the outer landscape of the Earth.

In her beautiful book, Reclaiming the Wild Soul, Mary Reynolds Thompson writes, “give yourself fully to this journey, and the landscapes will likewise work on you.”

If you choose to engage in this journey, simply complete this form. In five minutes your first journey will appear in your inbox.

The Tale of Two Wolves

Facebook Live The Tale of Two Wolves story plus a practice to help you feed the good wolf.

It’s so easy to “feed the bad wolf” during this pandemic. There is so much fear and anxiety and resentment in the world right now. This course will help you honor and acknowledge the emotions you’re experiencing as part of the human condition. But it will also help you feed your good wolf, by teaching you simple tools that allow you to access more peace, joy, love, hope, empathy, and compassion even in the midst of chaos.

I have been guiding clients in these tools for nearly a decade, and I’d be honored if you’d allow me to guide you through this time.

I believe I was put here on earth to hold space for the part of you that yearns to unite your desire to belong with your ache to be authentically you, and to help you define, own, express and be appreciated for the gifts you bring to the world.

The world needs your strength and your gifts NOW more than ever.

Yet it’s hard to hold it together when you’re anxious and scared of what’s coming next in this unpredictable world we’ve all been tossed into.

This four-week course is your answer.

Much love,


A More Beautiful World?

The world needs all of us right now –male and female, young and old. Now is our time to come together and shine our lights.

[If you are feeling too overwhelmed and anxious to shine your light right now, consider signing up for my self-paced four-week mini-course (Pay What You Will right now) called Transform Stress & Anxiety in the Midst of Chaos.]

I opened Charles Eisenstein’s book, The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know is Possible, this morning to find the best quote for my live meditation. I opened to the chapter on naivete. He quotes Goethe in the opening: “I love those who yearn for the impossible.”

Maybe I AM naive, but I believe that we can create from this pandemic a better world. Unlike 9/11, which pitted country against country and forced “sides”, this pandemic is sweeping the entire world. We are ALL affected, which means we are all in it together.

It feels like an opportunity like the one during WWI when everyone stopped fighting for 24 hours on Christmas night to listen to the song Silent Night.

BELGIUM – DECEMBER 25: German and British troops celebrating Christmas together during a temporary cessation of WWI hostilities known as the Christmas Truce. (Photo by Mansell/Mansell/The LIFE Picture Collection/Getty Images)

So what can we do as a collective? Not just you, although I am talking to you, but what can we all do together to create the change we wish to see in the world rather than just going back to business as usual when it’s over?

I’m sure you are pondering this along with me when the immediate stress of our wellness, and our loved ones’ wellness, and our economic future, (and whether or not we’ll have enough toilet paper to survive this apocalypse) fades into the background. 💖

So this is just a note to say thank you. Thank you for your support of me and my work. Thank you for supporting your families. Thank you for supporting good in the world. Thank you for “pondering this in your heart” as we all keep tiptoeing our way into the unknown.

Much love,


Feeling antsy?

How are you holding up?

All this social distancing has affected each of us in different ways. For me, it’s a little like the time I was learning the HeartMath Stop Emotional Eating program to teach to clients … I’d been in control of my own emotional eating for years. But as soon as I was told I couldn’t do it, I started craving Ben & Jerry’s Ice cream, (NY Super Fudge Chunk or Coffee Heath Bar Crunch are my favorites, but sometimes Chubby Hubby when I’m feeling super indulgent. Or mmmm, they used to have Creme Brulee. Yum!)

But I digress …

My point is that my ordinary life is rather socially distant … I work from home, see my family, and have friends I occasionally talk to on the phone or via text or even more rarely see in person. (I know … it’s my introverted side. It’s an area I’m working to change.) But now that we’re all supposed to social distance, I find myself wanting to talk to other people every day! (So I’ve been reaching out to friends all over the place.) I know that’s a normal response to crisis … to want to reach out and connect and make sure everyone else is okay.

But I also found myself standing in front of the refrigerator much more frequently than usual. And THAT I know is not the same as reaching out to friends. So I used my tools.

I’ve heard from other contacts that urges like impulse shopping (on-line,) or emotionally eating, or binge whatevering are suddenly omnipresent.

There’s nothing wrong with that of course. Unless you really can’t control yourself when you want to.

The program I created for this time —Transform Stress and Anxiety in the Midst of Chaos— works for those other emotional responses as well. And it will help you keep your temper with your family now that you are all quarantined together.

If none of this is a struggle for you, good for you! Please consider forwarding this blog to friends who might be struggling.

Micky swimming in Lake Crescent 03.22.20

PS) I got a chance to get to the lake yesterday. My partner and I care for a home near my mom’s. Mom and I were shouting to one another across the water from separate docks until I remembered we could use our phones. So I called her and we chatted across several hundred feet of water. I love technology. Imagine what boat we’d all be in now without it!

How are you doing with all this?

How are you doing with all of this?

I can’t help laughing at some of the memes.

The toilet paper ones are my favorites:

These are my favorite memes so far

But I’m also watching this whole thing unfold with a growing level of concern. This is definitely one of those situations where we have to surrender what we can’t control, and take action on the things we can.

Every morning I wake up with a fire hose of ideas both around how I can be of service, and (truthfully,) how I can also earn a living in the midst of it all.

Both my partner and I are self-employed, so it’s not like we’ll be collecting unemployment or picking up a government check when this is over. My sister and her husband are local farmers, so they are also affected. Another brother owns a chiropractic business, which is pretty hands on. No patients = no money. My mom’s primary income is a rental cabin.

I’m sure at least some of you are also in this boat, and even if you will continue to get a paycheck, you probably have other concerns … about staying healthy, figuring out how you’ll handle your kids all day when they’re home, parents or grandparents or other loved ones who are in the “danger zone” … the list goes on.

As I said, I wake up every morning with a fire hose of ideas … but only so much time in my day to execute on them.

I’m putting together new programs focused specifically around this pandemic  –one offering a fun challenge to virtually combat the very real effects of loneliness as we are required to socially isolate, and another offering practical tips to move through the very real effects of stress and anxiety. More details coming soon! (Both mini-courses will be in the $27 price range, which I hope will be affordable to most. If these sound like exactly what you need, but you can’t afford $27, shoot me an e-mail or give me a call and we can work something out.)

One thing I can offer right now, is a link to piles of guided meditations designed to help calm your nervous system. These are my Transformation Tuesday recordings from prior years. I think you can access these even if you don’t use Facebook, but if not, I’ll try to put a few of them on my youtube channel soon. (I have limited bandwidth from my home office, so each takes a long time.)

I can also offer 1:1 coaching at  sliding-scale “Pay What You Will” pricing for those who may be experiencing anxiety or other pandemic related unwanted emotions. (Sliding scale starts at $75 & runs through my “normal” price of $225 for a 45 – 60 minute session.) To schedule a session, click here to be taken to my booking calendar.

Here are three simple tools I always use to handle an upsurge in stress:

  • Get outside. If you live in close quarters in a city, try to get to a park or wildland. Take a walk. Look for bulbs and buds, listen to birdsong, watch the clouds. Anything that takes your mind off your troubles for a little while and allows you to experience the emotions of wonder, awe, peace, contentment.
  • Breathe. Count in for the count of four. Hold it. Then out for the count of four. Do this three times, then drop your awareness to your heart. Continue to breathe. In. Hold. Out. Try to breathe a little gratitude or compassion or awe into your heart. (All my Transformation Tuesday meditations guide you through this process.)
  • Dance. Put on your favorite dancing music, and dance in your living room. (Btw, did you see this one of Kermit? I joked with my friend that I do this even without the wine. Shhh. I wasn’t really joking. (If you don’t have Facebook and can’t watch this, imagine Kermit the Frog dancing to Fleetwood Mac’s song “Dreams” and the caption says “when you’re on day 2 of your quarantine, but your 8th bottle of wine.)

I’ll be back in a few days with more love and details on the two programs.

Stay safe out there!

Much love,


Look for the Silver Linings

It’s pretty nuts out there, isn’t it? I’m with you. Shaking my head. They are calling this the worst public health crisis of a century.

[And WHY are people hoarding toilet paper? I can see grabbing one of those Costco bundles, but …?]

Right now, as far as I know, all my loved ones are safe. But I know that’s not true of everyone, and quite a few people I know are immune challenged.

I’m not really sure HOW to respond … with prudence, certainly. And Grace. Kindness and Love, obviously.

The important thing is that we all work together to flatten the curve, though, so we don’t overwhelm our health system.

Cattening the Curve, Infographic credit Anne Marie Darling via Twitter

However, this pandemic also provides a few opportunities for us.

One of the potential benefits is an opening of precious time, a chance to take a collective pause. An opportunity to slow down, listen to the birds, take naps, and take care of a few things on your to-do list without the stress of all-the-things that have to be done in any given day..

What have YOU been saying you don’t have time for, for far too long?

Why not use this time to …

☑️Go for long walks in nature.
☑️ Read.
☑️ Draw.
☑️ Paint.
☑️ Write letters.
☑️ Sing.
☑️ Dance in your kitchen.
☑️ Rest.
☑️ Renew.
☑️ Take long hot baths.
☑️ Do sit-ups.
☑️ Organize.
☑️ Declutter.
☑️ Video chat with old friends.
☑️ Clean out the your closet.
☑️ Meditate.
☑️ Pet your dog.
☑️ Fist bump the children in your life. … or hug them if they’re your own.
☑️ Give your lover a massage.
☑️ Binge watch stand-up comedy.
☑️ Have leisurely dinners.
☑️ Nourish your body.
☑️ Drink wine.
☑️ Journal.
☑️ Reflect.
☑️ Learn something new.

☑️ Clear out your self judgments & release the old beliefs that aren’t serving you.😊

The world will probably be different after this.

That change can start with you.

Need help destressing?

This is the universe giving you time to step into the saying “be the change you wish to see” so you re-emerge renewed, refreshed, clear and ready to participate more fully in a better, simpler, more joyful world.

Use this precious time to connect to the truth of your deepest desires, make new discoveries, and grow into “being” the amazing women you are.

I’m also loving the poetry that is arising, and the beauty that is being shared.

Have you seen the Italians singing from their balconies?

Or this poem by Father Richard Hendrick?

Yes there is fear.
Yes there is isolation.
Yes there is panic buying.
Yes there is sickness.
Yes there is even death.
They say that in Wuhan after so many years of noise
You can hear the birds again.
They say that after just a few weeks of quiet
The sky is no longer thick with fumes
But blue and grey and clear.
They say that in the streets of Assisi
People are singing to each other
across the empty squares,
keeping their windows open
so that those who are alone
may hear the sounds of family around them.
They say that a hotel in the West of Ireland
Is offering free meals and delivery to the housebound.
Today a young woman I know
is busy spreading fliers with her number
through the neighbourhood
So that the elders may have someone to call on.
Today Churches, Synagogues, Mosques and Temples
are preparing to welcome
and shelter the homeless, the sick, the weary
All over the world people are slowing down and reflecting
All over the world people are looking at their neighbours in a new way
All over the world people are waking up to a new reality
To how big we really are.
To how little control we really have.
To what really matters.
To Love.
So we pray and we remember that
Yes there is fear.
But there does not have to be hate.
Yes there is isolation.
But there does not have to be loneliness.
Yes there is panic buying.
But there does not have to be meanness.
Yes there is sickness.
But there does not have to be disease of the soul
Yes there is even death.
But there can always be a rebirth of love.
Wake to the choices you make as to how to live now.
Today, breathe.
Listen, behind the factory noises of your panic
The birds are singing again
The sky is clearing,
Spring is coming,
And we are always encompassed by Love.
Open the windows of your soul
And though you may not be able
to touch across the empty square,
– Fr. Richard Hendrick, OFMMarch 13th 2020

Where else have you seen beauty arising out of this time?

Drop me a line …

Much love,


International Women’s Day

I just read an email from Michelle Obama, celebrating International Women’s Day. It starts out:  “When I was growing up, my parents made it very clear: I could do anything my brother could do, from playing sports to going to college. That was one of the greatest gifts my family gave to me—a belief that, as a girl, my voice and my talents mattered.”

I have to say, that wasn’t my experience when I was growing up. My parents loved me, no doubt about that. But my sister and I were the ones who educated THEM about what girls could do. They “matured nicely” (as my dad would’ve said) as we proved to them over and over that women could do things that weren’t as … accepted … when they were growing up. And my nieces are reaping the rewards today.

For example, we played sports, but my coach had to talk my parents into allowing me to play basketball as a freshman, because when I begged as a 7th grader –and again as an 8th grader– they thought it was “too rough a sport for their little girl.” (Our team made it to state when I was a sophomore, and I was scoring 30 points / game by the time I was a senior.)

We were expected to go to college, but the “reason” was so that we could meet an eligible man to marry. (Neither my sister nor I met our partners in college.)

As a woman who was raised Catholic, I was taught in subtle ways over and over that my voice and my talents weren’t as important as those of men.

[“But what about honoring Mary!” (That’s my mom’s voice in my head. –I love you mom … she’s a subscriber and a huge supporter of my work.) That’s one of the best parts about Catholicism over other Christian faiths in my opinion, but I’ll leave that whole topic for another day. Forget the president, my mom wanted to be Pope when she was little, and is a fiercely strong feminist role model in her own way, although she might not call herself that. She still water-skis at 80, for example. And the times we missed mass when I was a kid, she played the role of priest. When my niece, Lily, was in 7th grade and racing the 800 meter relay against a boy’s team, her voice was right with me yelling, “BEAT THAT BOY!” and almost crying in pride as Lily did.]

I’ve been thinking about this whole women empowerment thing particularly over the past week as I’ve been finalizing my self-judgment detox and writing about the inner scripts that hold us back from becoming the amazing women we are born to be.


  • Elizabeth Warren dropped out of the presidential race, leaving us with two old white men to choose from. (No offense to Bernie and Joe, both are WAY better choices than the godawful mysogynist dude in the office today.) But wouldn’t it be nice to have a woman president? Wouldn’t it be nice to show our daughters / granddaughters / nieces that it can happen in our country in our lifetime?
  • I learned about the awful sticker some Canadian oil company created “as a joke” that depicted Greta Thunberg being forcibly raped. (!!)
  • read a statistic that said that 90% of the world still holds a sexist viewpoint (57% in the US!)
  • And read that the # of witches (mostly girl children) being burned in the world is on the rise.
  • And then there is the on-going devastation of the planet, Mother Earth
To Honor International Women’s Day, art by Kristin Halberg

Each of these topics bears more attention than I have time for this morning. And all of them bring me to tears.

As a woman dedicated to helping change the story of women and the planet, on this International Women’s Day my call to you is this:

I am extremely grateful to all the women who have come before us, and done some amazing things to pave the way. But WE need to be the change we wish to see, and we haven’t yet done enough.

We need YOU to step into your full potential and take a stand for women and the planet.

I believe we women are uniquely positioned to shape the world’s future through our influence on our family, our community, our workplace and beyond. For most of us, to do this to our full potential we need deep transformation in the areas of self-belief, relationships, wellness, and purpose.

I believe I was put here on Earth to hold space for the part of you that yearns to unite your desire to belong with your ache to be authentically you, and to help you define, own, express and be appreciated for the gifts you bring to the world. My goal is to help you find your OWN way back to the part of you that knows EXACTLY what to do, and to listen to that wise inner voice that I call your Wild & Wise Heart.

I’ve dedicated the past twenty years of my life to learning about deep transformation, and spent the past twelve guiding women on this journey to step into their potential.

What’s holding YOU back from becoming the influential woman you were born to be?

If it’s that inner script than runs your thoughts, it’s not too late to join my 30-Day Self-Judgment Detox Challenge.

It’s so important that we ditch these inner critical voices, so that we can step into the most capable empowered versions of ourselves.

So I decided to open up the Self-Judgment Detox challenge throughout the month of March.

I’ve got new cohorts starting every Sunday.

Join today!
$27 gets you in

“My friends, do not lose heart.  We were made for these times. … Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but in stretching out to mend the part of the world within our reach.  … Any small calm thing you do makes a difference, but the most calming and powerful action you can take is to stand up and show your soul.”

Clarissa Pinkola Estes

We need YOUR voice and YOUR heart and YOUR passion and YOUR most capable amazing self to STAND UP and SHOW YOUR SOUL.


Much love,


Why You Need to Challenge Your Self-Judgment Now

“If you want to clean a house, you have to see the dirt.”

Louise Hay

Have you ever noticed that it’s easier to see the dirt in other people’s houses (or establishments) than it is your own?

Photo of healthy foods with hearts invitation to join the Self Judgment Detox Challenge
Join the Self Judgment Detox Challenge Today!

In fact, when I’m super busy –like lately– I don’t even look around me much to notice the clutter, the dirt, and the dog hair. Well, I sorta do. But I can ignore it for awhile. Until I’m expecting company. Then I ask myself how in the world the house got INTO this shape to begin with and begin the mega cleaning process.

Our critical inner voice is a little like this … only we aren’t usually expecting company inside our heads. So it’s a little more like if what happened inside our head was the junk drawer … or that one closet that nobody EVER looks into. Our negative self talk is allowed to build up and build up and build up.

Around Valentine’s Day, I shared the story of my 4th grade crush, and its sad Valentine’s Day ending. Well, partially sad. Sherry, my best friend at the time, was amazing.

But have you ever heard of the negativity bias?

Essentially, it is a phenomenon whereby we humans are wired to not only NOTICE negative stimuli more frequently, but also to fixate on it. Fun, right?

What that means is we tend to:

  • Remember traumatic experiences more than good ones
  • Recall insults significantly more than praise
  • Think about negative things more frequently than positive ones (and let them run through our brains over and over and over again)
  • Respond more strongly to negative events than to equally positive ones

I have thousands of examples of how Sherry was a good friend to me. But that boy was only in our school for a year or two. Why do I even remember him?

What negativity bias ALSO means is that these seemingly uneventful events –like not getting a valentine’s day card from your boy crush– get stored away in our brains. But not just as “some little thing that happened in the 4th grade.” Instead, we make MEANING out of these events …. And the meaning we make of something as a nine year old is NOT the same meaning we might make as an adult. At least logically.

The meanings we make are going to be different depending on our own life experiences. But some possible meanings a nine year old could make of that event are:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m not lovable
  • I don’t matter
  • I’m not wanted
  • I’m worthless
  • I’m not important
  • And more … you get the idea.

Now I’m just using this experience as an example. To be honest, when I penned the piece, I wrote details into the story that I don’t actually remember. I DO remember feeling crappy though. And I’ve NEVER liked valentine’s day. More on that in a bit.

We ALL have stories like my 4th grade valentine’s day in our lives. Some of them seem like they could be trivial … as grown ups, we logically know that it’s not the end of the world to not get that valentine, or to be chosen last for the spelling bee or the sports team, or whatever. But as kids, we assign them meaning … AND THEN THAT MEANING INFLUENCES EVERY OTHER EVENT IN OUR LIVES.

What happens next is that the negativity bias can lead to the confirmation bias. This is “the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms or strengthens one’s prior personal beliefs or hypotheses.*” (*Wikipedia)

So let’s take this same example again. From that day forward, some small part of me expected to be hurt on valentine’s day again. So what did I do the following year? I bet I didn’t risk giving a boy a super special valentine again. And even if I did, I probably put some defense mechanisms on so that I wouldn’t be AS hurt or disappointed. Do you see how this works?

One question I often get asked when I’m presenting at our local college is: “why do I have these random weird phobias … like public speaking for example.” My answer: it’s probably not random and weird at all. If you trace it back, you can probably find the source from your childhood. (And don’t even get me started about the fears we inherit!)

Over time, the meanings we made of something become beliefs. And then we start living our lives as if these beliefs were true. And then we get them confirmed, because we show up in a certain way, and etc. AND, more and more research shows that your BODY holds onto this stuff, not just your mind (which is why it’s so hard to get rid of these things.)

No wonder we need to go in and detox our self-judgments every once in awhile!!

Are you in?

This Four-Step Self-Judgment Detox challenge will:

  • Help you identify the most common messages you receive from your critical voice
  • Teach you four + practices to honor and release old wounds from your emotions, mind and body
  • Provide guided meditations and creative exercises to heal old stories
  • Guide you in a practice of surrender and self forgiveness
  • Teach the six principles of self-compassion
  • Reconnect you with your Spirit Self (or what I call your Wild and Wise Heart)


  • Bi-weekly emails for four weeks, (approximate value, $50 / week)
  • Made for you matrixes and journal prompts to help you track your journey and ask yourself deep reflective questions; (value, $97)
  • Inspiration, Knowledge and Motivational check-ins; (value, $900)
  • Optional Bonus: Individual answers and encouragement from me via email or text; value $75 / week)
  • Deep life transformation and tools you can use forever, priceless

All this can be yours for $27, for a limited time.

Join Now!

Or visit my site at The Dream Hatchery.